Dad Bod
I
intended on writing about “dad bod” again in this post and I still will in a
way. As I noted on Tuesday, the post I uploaded
was written almost 18 months ago. I hadn’t
posted it sooner because I was embarrassed.
In my profession, health is incredibly important. We have extensive instruction in nutrition
and physical rehab and anatomy, physiology, aging, biochemistry; the list can
go on and on. I am fully aware of the
importance of health and being “a little overweight” was embarrassing.
So
I waited. I waited to post it until I
could write a follow-up about how far I’ve come. Plans and real life sometimes don’t agree. Yesterday morning, I ran into a newer
acquaintance. He asked me what my plans
were for the day. I relayed that I was
going to the gym, then I would be heading to work.
“The
gym? You don’t work out!” he replied, gesturing
to my abdomen.
I
laughed and agreed, mentioning how fat guys gotta start somewhere. The comment took the wind out of my
sails. I have been working toward
getting healthier since last October and felt like I was making positive
strides, which I may detail in a later post.
I recently started going to an actual gym to exercise and was really
enjoying it. Yesterday’s session sucked
though. I kind of went through the
motions, with half-hearted intensity. Throughout the day, I felt disgusting. I felt like I was fat and everyone was
looking at my stomach.
Some
of you may know this, but if you don’t, I have struggled with body image issues
my entire life. I have struggled with eating
disorders. When I was younger, I had
bouts of anorexia. More recently, binge
eating has been a struggle. This time, instead
of worrying about losing weight to look good, I was determined to get healthy
and trust that physical manifestations would mirror the effort. One of my goals for this year was to run (jog)
a 5k and though I may not achieve that goal this year, I’ve been proud of my
progress.
Which
brings me to the point of this post. I
am overweight. I have a dad bod (I have
achieved it, since I overshot it previously).
I don’t have a six pack and my arms aren’t enormous. When I started Tune Chiropractic in
September, I was right around 230 pounds.
Yesterday, at the gym, I weighed in at 190. My goal wasn’t to lose 40 pounds, in fact, I
figured I’d be around 200 pounds and feeling fit and fierce. The goal was to get healthy, realizing that
weight would have to come off during the journey. Having passed the 200lb mark and not being
where I want, I no longer have any idea what my healthy weight will be.
I
don’t want sympathy and I’m not fishing for compliments. I am writing this because this morning, June
15, 2018, I woke up knowing that I had a bad day yesterday and it was probably
needed to keep my ego in check. I re-discovered
the purpose of why I’m doing this. Why I
am eating healthier, eliminating bad foods and exercising more. This morning I recognize that I’m not happy with
partial achievement of my goal, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel good about
my current progress. I can see and feel
the changes that have happened since I started making a concerted effort to get
healthier and am grateful for where I’m at.
In the same breath, I am also grateful that I still have my goal of
jogging (maybe speed walking) a 5k to shoot for.
I
know he didn’t mean anything hurtful when he made the comment of my physique,
and I’m just a little sensitive. I’m
glad it happened the way it did. I’m
glad I had hurt feelings all day and it essentially ruined my day. If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have been
able to put things in perspective. I
wouldn’t have been able to re-focus my efforts and be mindful of my
progress. He did me a favor and will
never know it.
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